You are 18 years old. Fresh out of high
school expecting a brighter than bright future as you enroll in the campus of
your dreams. Everything looks super-duper good. You can’t wait to experience
A few years on, you clock 22. No one tells
you this, but you can feel it chocking the life out of you. It’s the quarter
life crisis. It hits you bad. There are so many things, no, too many things to
figure out and you are on your own: A 22-year-old and sacks of worries weighing
As a 22-year-old lady, my sack consists of:
1. I’m a few months from graduating. What
was I doing in college exactly? What is my purpose, really?
2. Has my campus experience readied me for
the world out there? Is life too fast? Or am I too slow!
3. Will I ever realize my dreams? Are
dreams too overrated?
4. I have been dating this guy for the
better part of my campus life, is he the ideal life, partner? Have I been
wasting my time all along? He is kinda slow, should I dump him?
5. Should I leave him and go to the next
guy, will the person I chose eventually take advantage of me, leave me
crumbling and hating all men.
6. Can I hack this marriage thing? As a
child of divorce, will it last long enough for me to reap maximum benefits,
whatever those are?
7. Am I fertile? Seriously am I?
8. If yes, will I have a protruding
appendage before a ring on my finger? Kenyan men, you know…
9. What if I’m actually into girls?
Will I be banished from my family, clan, society? I find it intriguing still.
10. What is womanhood?
11. When is my time to win coming? All my
friends have either secured a job or running a successful enterprise and seem
to have it all together. Or happily hitched…Or they seem for now. I’m happy
for them but what about me?
12. Will I ever be independent? Is it even
worth being independent? Oh bills, how will I ever settle you all?
13. What if a rich man decides to make me a
housewife, should I take the offer?
14. Dee is a video vixen and she’s doing
alright. If a job doesn’t come along and I’m unable to create my own, I could
twerk or become an Instagram celebrity. As some professions die, others soar.
Is it wrong?
15. Is it time I try out a sponsor? Does it
make me have loose morals when all I’m trying to do is succeed? Besides, I’m
already having sex with a guy who probably has other sexual partners, how about
getting paid for it? Okay, that makes me sound like a prostitute, or does it?
16. How soon can I afford a menstrual cup?
This investment will be my contribution to the environment. Also, I simply hate
how sanitary towels can end up burning you.
17. There has been to go natural… Skin,
hair, diet, you name it. Should I dye my hair blonde or chop it all together?
Shave my eyebrows maybe? Oh wait, I could get a septum piercing.
18. Am I sexy enough? You know, Suzie got
herself butt implants, she looks kinda nice… My body is okay but we can
always do better?
19. Have I been a good daughter for the 22
years I’ve been on earth? I mean, I haven’t been shitty rude like some of the
whiteness people have adopted but did I do it right? Do my parents need
compensation for parenting.
20. Am I the right model to my siblings?
21. Are my friends really my friends?
I have run out of ways determining the genuine. They are always looking for me
when it’s convenient for them. Carla is up to my throat…
22. Of everything, I’m doing, what will
come back to haunt me? What does the future hold?
God, I know our relationship hasn’t been
great. I want to reach out to you, have you console me in these turbulent times
but I fail. I hope I don’t run out of time. I would like to end up in heaven.
Honestly, I’m scared out of life knowing I
have to do life.
By REHEMA ZUBERI